If It meant a lot to you
by EarthToSarahh
Summary: Another EClare story taken place after nowhere to run. Clare is going to do something crazy and reckless, but her old self finally came to the surface. and who does she look for in her time of need? Of course, Eli.. Rated M for some chapters and cussing.
1. Sleeping sickness

**If I Mean A Lot to You.**

**And EClare Story **

**I decided to write my own EClare story. I mean, I ship them so much. I still have some hope for them. This takes place after nowhere to run. Okay, here it goes.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own degrassi, or anything in here.**

**Eli's POV:**

I can't stop thinking about that night. The night I crashed Morty. The night I lost the girl of my dreams. I can't understand why I'm such a screw up. I just wish I could talk to her. I mean, we talked when I found her and helped her in the woods, but of course Jake and Drew came to ruin whatever could have happened. Why did she have to get back with him? I mean, Jake and I are on good terms now, but still. I just wish… **-Phone rings- **I wonder who that is…? It read.. _**ClareBear**_

"please…a-answer…" "Um..hello?" I can't contain my excitement, but I can't help but hear muffled cries after that "Please answer"..

"Eli!...you..you answered.." I don't know why she doubted that I'd answer. "Of course I did, what's going on? Are you..crying?" "Um..um..yeah." "Well, why are you crying?" _I swear, whatever made her cry…_ "Jake..and I.." "What did he do Clare? What happened?" _I was going kick his ass for making her cry.._ "He..We… I…" "Clare, come on, you can tell me_.." I wonder what he, or they, or she did… God, if it's what I think it is.. _"I almost…broke my vow. For him. But.." "Oh my god, Clare! Did he make…you? Did he pressure you?" _I was surely going to kill him. _"No, I wanted to. I was…unbuttoning my shirt..and-" "You can tell me Clare, I mean, that's why you called, right?" _God, I was so pissed..she was so pure, and smart. How could she be so god damn stupid about this. And with him! He…basically…cheated._ "But as…soon as I started, he..just..put his hands on…-" "You can keep going, Clare, it's okay." "I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I'm sorry I bothered you." "Clare, I'm going to go get you, okay?" "No, Eli.. I-" _then I heard banging on the door, I'm sure it was Jake. "Clare, sweetie..baby." "Get out of this house, Jake! "Well, fuck. I live here too, hunny." "Get out." "Fine, you're just a fucking tease." "Alright, we're through. See ya later, Bro."_ "Clare..?" "Oh, Eli.. I forgot..-" before I let her finish talk I said "I'm going over." I then hung up. I told my parents, then I ran out the door.

**Clare's POV:**

I can't believe I was so stupid. I can't believe I almost broke my vow..for him. I can't believe I called Eli. I can't believe Eli is coming over.

I miss Eli though. I needed to thank him for so much. I loved his way of always caring. I loved the way…he just..never judged. I loved..him. I did. I really..need to catch up with him, and soon. I missed it being Eli, Adam, and I. I missed the way things were. Since Alli and I weren't talking. I never even got to ask her why she kissed Jake. I just missed the old days..where I wasn't so goddamn- **-knocks-** "Clare! It's me, Eli.." I ran down the stairs and opened the door…he smirked at me. God, I missed that smirk and those deep green eyes. His hair was a little shorter than the last time I saw him. I miss him. He interrupted my thoughts when he said "Now, let's continue this story, Clare. Tell me, what happened with you and..Jake."

**Eli's POV:**

God, I shouldn't have asked. This story was way too much. It really pissed me off. I mean, therapy with Dr. Nash had helped me cope a little, due to the fact that I never told her much about Clare. As soon as Clare noticed my face looked a little disgusted, she stopped and said "Oh..I'm sorry, I know you must…not like hearing this. I don't really like telling it.. but I have no one to talk to. Everyone in my life..I pushed them away. Even Jake, who's like..my brother..my…jerk of a brother." _I couldn't think of anything to say, but I couldn't see her this way anymore._ "Clare, I know this is..really screwed up, but you can always get people back. I mean, you didn't push me away, I'm always going to come back to you whether you like it or not!"_ Dammit, Eli you said way too much, she's just looking at you oddly with those gorgeous eyes.._ Clare then said "Eli, I want to…thank you so much. I've missed you..so much. Tell me…what's been going on since I last saw you." _This was so...surprising. she wanted to know what's been going on..with me? _"Well.." _I said with a huge sigh "_this is going to be a long…and painfully boring summer story to you, and first 2 weeks of school story too.." _Clare giggled..her first..giggle and smile of the night. I felt somewhat accomplished. "_Okay, let's start with after school ended. I started seeing a therapist. Her name is Dr. Nash. She's surprisingly..amazing. but you know, I'm really stubborn, right? Well, I didn't talk to her for at least a week. I really wasn't into talking to her. Even if she started off with 'So, Eli, what's your favorite class?' I couldn't answer that since you were involved. So, I just blocked her out for a while." "You couldn't talk about me..?" _of course not. You were the best thing in my life, and I fucked it up.. "_Uh, no…not really. It was hard. Especially since you were dating…Jake. And stuff."

**Clare's POV:**

I couldn't believe this. Here I was, with Eli, listening to him, and how he's changing. I missed him. And he's a senior this year. I mean, I saw him not even a week ago, but I missed him so much. I missed one on one time with him. Then I heard footsteps running up the stairs.. Oh my god..no, not this. Not now.


	2. I never meant to wither

12/19/2011

**I Mean A Lot to You.**

**An EClare Story **

**Okay, second chapter, here it goes! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, or anything in here.**

**Jake's POV:**

Well,

It's been about an hour, bought some flowers, even came up with a plan to get Clare crawling back. I mean, for someone who's really smart, she sure is really dumb. Typical girl, I mean.. very typical. I still can't get over how she thought I didn't like kissing Alli. Alli was a pretty damn good kisser, but how things were going with Clare and I, of course she was going to give it up. I wonder what got into her tonight? She's such a tease, but she almost gave it up, she'll do it again, I'm sure. They always come crawling back.. Well, here I am, home sweet home, going to win that idiot over…again.

**Clare's POV:**

Oh no, I hear footsteps. Not this.. Not now.. I hope it isn't – but my thought was cut off with a "Honey, I'm home… Clare, sweetie, I'm sorry, but we can talk about this, I'm sorry if I pr_-" _his statement was cut off with him seeing Eli and I sitting on my bed. Crap. He was going to kill Eli.. I mean, Eli could fight well, due to the fact he fought Fitz a lot, but Jake? No.. this just.. can't happen. Jake and Eli were in a death-stare match. This wasn't going to end well, especially since my parents were out for the weekend… The weekend before school started too. I'm just scared. I loved being here with Eli. It reminded me of old times. Old times when I wasn't so easy to manipulate, or the times someone actually cared about how I felt, and didn't apologize with flowers, and expected it to be okay.

**Eli's POV:**

I can't believe that douchebag was back home. It's only been an hour.. I know I technically wasn't supposed to be here, but shit, he could've went someone for a longer period of time, and that's because Clare an I were getting along pretty great. Finally the silence was broken, Jake had yelled "Hey emo kid, whatcha doing here with _my_ girlfriend? Thought you pick up the pieces? Who even called you over here? Being a stalker _again?_" I was pissed. Beyong pissed, but I remembered what Dr. Nash had told me to do when I needed to calm down, and I did it. I wasn't going to ruin all that I have done so far just to shut this guys' mouth. I finally replied saying "_Clare_ called _me_, okay? So, calm yourself down. She was sad, so I came here to comfort her. I'll be gladly to let myself out. I don't want to cause problems." I was headed down the stairs feeling disappointed that Clare didn't even come down to _try_ and call me back. I looked back, and I saw them…_kissing._ I guess I came here for nothing. I don't understand with how smart she is, she could be so stupid with a guy. He had her rapped around his dumbass finger, and she wasn't even aware of it. I'm over this…bullshit, but the only thing I can't seem to get over is.. Clare. And the worst thing is, school starts in 3 days.

*******3 days later******

**7:30 am:**

Well, time to get ready for school. Since I'm a senior now, blue polo. Joy. I'm just glad it's my last year; then university soon. Well, my schedule was decent. God, I really hoped I didn't have her in Advanced English this year. Then again, it is the only advanced English class, and I'm one hundred percent sure that she wasn't going to drop the class. The clock read **7:45**

Shit. I'm going to be late. Well, it's not like we do anything the first day anyways.

**8 am**: As I walked into my history class, there he was. Jake. God, I hated that guy so much more since what happened. So much for forgiveness, right? I really didn't care anymore. _Fuck_ forgiveness. Honestly. I didn't talk to anyone in history, but hell, everyone else was talking to Jake. They were all girls too. He surely got around. I felt so bad for Clare. I drove her to this guy. This dumbass fucking guy.

My next class was pretty gay. I had no one to talk to. Of course. But I didn't mind.

**10:15** **am**

_English Class. Shit_. I decided being late wasn't going to kill me. I walked in, but Clare wasn't there, which was weird since she was always early. I sat down, Mrs. Dawes wasn't there either, but I thought that too soon, Clare and Mrs. Dawes came right on the tardy bell. God, Clare looked beautiful. Then again, she always does. The red polo didn't bring out her eyes like the purple one did last year, but god, she did look beautiful. Clare sat right next to Adam, and behind me again. I could smell her perfume. This girl was going to be the death of me. I'm just glad Jake wasn't in this class. They could have sat in the back, and stole kisses like we did before everything happened.. I missed her.

**Clare's POV:**

Of course I'd be in English with Eli. I felt so bad about what happened not even a week ago. I didn't _want_ to be with Jake, but hell, this was just complete and utter stupidity. I was stupid to let him kiss me. I wonder if Eli saw it. I bet he hated me. I mean, I hate me so much. I can't remember the last time I felt happy with myself. Mrs. Dawes interrupted my thoughts she was assigning partners. I hope Eli and I get paired up, in all honesty. "Okay, well, we'll start with the person who came in late; Clare.. I'm going to assign you with..Eli again for the year. You guys have such a great history. I hope you two do well, despite everything that has happened. You two always do well." Oh, thank god. I just really wanted to set things right with him. I heard him scoff. I wanted to cry. "Adam, you'll be with Tori, Tori darling, raise your hand?" Tori was pretty. She turned around, she was sitting right next to Eli, right in front of Adam. She smiled and said "Hi, I'm Tori, I'm from Texas." She had the thickest southern accent. Eli decided to step in and said "Sorry about Adam, he gets flustered around girls. I'm Eli, his best friend. Nice to meet you." I saw Adam punch him, and say "Hey, nice to be partnered with you. Sit with us at lunch?" she gladly accepted, and looked at Eli for a while. Oh my god, what if they started…_dating?_ I mean, it's pretty selfish of me to do, but hell, I still…loved that boy.

The bell rang. Thank god, it was lunch time. I couldn't spend one more second watching her watch him. Eli didn't even talk to me the rest of the class.

**Eli's POV**:

Thank god, lunch. Clare and I didn't even discuss our assignment due next week. I didn't want to bother her because I know she hates me. I now clearly understand what the third wheel felt like because Adam and Tori were flirting it up. As I looked across the lunchroom, there was Clare with Jake. He had his arm over her possessively. I saw Clare glance over where Adam, Tori, and I sat, and I decided to smile at her. She just got red and looked down. I decided to walk over there and talk to her about our assignment.

**Clare's POV:**

Why did Eli smile at me? This upset me. Jake was upsetting me too. I glanced back to where Adam, Eli, and Tori were sitting, but Eli wasn't there. I'm surprised he left his flirting session with Tori. It was ridiculous. I looked down, and I looked again, Imogen and Eli were talking. Was she after him_ again?_ God, I didn't like this. All of a sudden Eli dismissed Imogen, with her still looking happy, she looked different this year too. Her hair was down, and normal looking. She didn't have her contacts on either. She looked really pretty, honestly. I looked at Jake, and all of a sudden he kissed me with so much intensity. I pushed him away feeling embarrassed. I saw Eli, he was right next to our table, but now walking away. "Eli!" I cried "Wait.."


	3. Breathe

**If I Mean A Lot to You.**

**An EClare Story **

**Okay, third chapter, here it goes! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, or anything in here.**

**Eli's POV**:

Why would she make out with him like that? She _never_ used to act like that with me. I just had to calm down. Do what Dr. Nash tells me to do. I wasn't going to throw my progress down the toilet. I mean, I just got released to seeing her once a week. She thought I was doing great, I wasn't going to ruin it. Then I heard a familiar voice "Eli! Wait up!" It was Clare. "I thought you were busy making out with your boyfriend." I said with complete and utter anger, but I suddenly felt bad. She looked at me in disappointment and said "Sorry. He.. I. I don't know. Did you need something from me when you went to our table?" I realized I did. I managed to sound completely desperate when I said "We need to work on our English project, and I wanted to know if you wanted to work on it at The Dot or something..?" surprisingly she..looked happy, and said "Yes!" and looked down and then looked back up and said "Oh, of course. Today after school?" I happily agreed. I went back to my table and Tori asked "You love her, don't you?" I wanted to breakdown, but I swallowed my sadness up, and said "Always."

**Clare's POV:**

I wanted to know why it took Eli so long to get here. I've been waiting for 20 minutes. I felt my phone buzz and it was Eli.

**Eli:**

_Hey, I know I'm running late, but I rushed out of my house, and forgot my laptop, I need to go back and get it. Sorry, blue eyes. Be there in a sec. _

I smiled at the fact he called me Blue eyes. He knew I loved when he did. I waited 5 more minutes, and there he was. Sweating. I laughed at his expense, and he smirked and said "Hey, don't laugh at me. I've been scatterbrained lately, alright, _blue eyes."_ I giggled and said "Alright, alright Goldsworthy, so, you and…Tori, or you and Imogen again what's going on there?" he laughed, but I wasn't, I was serious, he just didn't know it. He then said "Tori and Adam like each other, and I set them up, although, I didn't have to do much. And Imogen? Imogen is dating Fiona now. Imogen and Fiona bonded after the play, and well, let's say Imogen liked Fiona way more than me." I felt so embarrassed and all I could say was "Oh. Cool." After that little catch up, I felt better. I couldn't picture him with anyone. It made me angry just thinking about it. After that, ee worked for about two hours, and we got almost everything done. Then all of a sudden Jake came in. He came in with a girl, not just any girl…Marisol.. one of the biggest…floozies in schoo. Maybe this was my chance to break up with him..

**Jakes POV:**

Man, Marisol is just as easy as Clare. Easier even. I wasn't going to quit it with Clare just yet since we already booked rooms at the Blue Mountain Ski resort for the end of the semester party. I would probably get in her pants then, break up with her, and hooking up with Marisol. Easy, right? "So, Marisol, how are you with _my_ boyfriend? Or soon to be my _ex-boyfriend._" Shit. Clare. But she was with fucking Eli. I looked at her up and down and said _"_Clare, Marisol and I were just working. The same as you and Eli, I guess? Stop being insecure."

**Clare's POV:**

Insecure. Insecure. Inse-fucking-cure. I rarely cursed, or ever thought of it, but he was right, I have been insecure. And it was all his fault. I looked at Eli, and I said "I've got to go, Eli. Tomorrow, and we can finish this up." He laughed and said "Yeah, sure Edwards. Bye." And he stormed out. I felt horrible. Jake said "C'mon _Edwards_, let's go home." And we did just that.

******3 months later******

**Eli's POV:**

Well, one semester down, one more to go.. and what great way to end it, going to a fucking ski resort to be a third wheel. Ex-fucking-citing. Clare and I finished our work in one day every time we had it, but oddly enough she'd been closer to Jake then ever, but not in a happy way. If anything, he was…_suffocating _her. As I biked my way home, my parents waiting outside happily, but why? I looked at them and I couldn't help but ask "Okay, what's the big deal? I have a to pack, and I have a bus to catch, guys. The yscreamed in unison and said "Eli, we're getting you a new car! Or truck! Your choice!" I couldn't be anymore happy. My parents drove us to a dealership, and there it was. A Black Ford Raptor. I had money saved from my job at Barnes and Noble last summer, and I was waiting for college to get my dream truck besides my beloved morty which I missed so much, but hell.. My parents knew what truck I wanted, and they bought it for me. It had a lot of room in the back too, like they though I was going to fool around with some girl there. I drove home, and I looked at the time. _Shit, _I haven't even packed, and the bus was going to leave in an hour. Then I felt my phone vibrate, it was a text from Adam.

**Adam:**

_"bro, where r u? We came early and I thought u agreed to meet us to catch the bus? BTW I saw Clare and Jake here. Well, see u?"_

I texted him back saying

"_hey, bro, sorry, I just got a new truck, my DREAM truck, black ford raptor ;) I think I'll just drive up there, give u and tori some alone time. And that's just great. It's whatever. See u at Blue Resort, or whatever. Save me a bed, lol. Laters."_

I went downstairs and told my parents I missed the bus, and they said I can just drive, which I planned on doing anyways. I liked driving, especially long drives. I wish I could drive Clare over to the Blue whatever resort. I missed talking with her. I mean, we were english partners, but it never meant we could talk about anything other than English, according to Clare.

******6 hours later******

Man, a 6 hour drive did me well, I checked in, and went up to my room, and what do I walk in to see? Adam and Tori Making out on the bed. everything got really awkward, really fast. I apologized, threw my bag in there, and walked out. I was going to chill by the pool tonight.

**Clare's POV**:

I haven't been skiing since my Dad, Darcy, and I went to that trip when I was smaller, I mean, I wasn't too great at it, but hell, It's been a while. Jake tought me the basics, but I was tired, so I requested we go to the room, our hotel room. He happily accepted. Oddly. We went up to our room, but there was only one bed. I was angry and I asked "Jake, why is there only_ one_ bed?" and he looked angry and said "Clare, baby, I thought we could, I don't know, sleep in each other's arms tonight?" I just went to the bathroom to change into some pjs, and not argue. I changed into short pajama shorts and a blue tank top, and when I walked out, he was sitting out the bed, and said "Baby, you look gorgeous, kiss?" I smiled exceptionally and kissed him. He didn't want to break it, and he forced me onto the bed he was on top, holding my arms down. I was scared, and I finally broke the kiss, and muttered out "What the _hell_ are you doing, Jake?" he looked mad but he smiled and said "Baby, I want to take it to the next level, and he touched my chest. I slapped him. He didn't take it harsh at all though he said "Ooh, babe, like it rough? Then that's how I'm going to give it to you!" He started touching my butt, and tried to make his way towards my..center. I finally got too pressured and pushed him off the bed and yelled "Get out of this room, and don't bother coming back in!" Jake went to go get some stuff in the bathroom, and he had my suitcase, and through it out in the hallway. He yelled at me and said "_You_ can _get the fuck out_ of this room, I paid for it, and we're through. You're just a fucking tease, Clare. See ya when we go home, bitch!" I was crying, and he just shut the door. I couldn't get it through my head why I was stupid about this. About all of this. I left my stuff there, and ran to the closest place, the pool.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay guys, i would LOVE to know what you think about these few chapters, trust me i have a lot more to come... I know I haven't said much in my previous chapters, but I just wanted to write and upload, ya know? but still, i would love to know what you think, and help me improve and what not? it'd mean SO much. I'm new, so i just, you understand what I'm getting at! xoxoxox - Sarah!<strong>


	4. In the Water I am Beautiful

**I Mean A Lot to You.**

**An EClare Story **

**Okay, 4****th**** chapter, here it goes! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own degrassi, or anything in here.**

**Eli's POV:**

This book wasn't getting any better, so I just through it on the chair next to me. I lied down, and heard someone come in. I didn't bother to look up. But I heard muffled crying. I looked, and it was Clare, she was going to jump in the pool, with her clothes on? Well, with what clothes she had. But why? I yelled and said "Clare, what in the world are you doing?"but before she could process anything I said, she jumped in the pool. And I just remembered what she said to me once, she didn't know how to swim, as I remembered this as I was removing my shirt, and my pants to jump in to get her. She was breathing in water by the time I saw her. I grabbed her, and pulled her to the surface. She didn't appear to be breathing, but i pumped on her chest, and water came out, she was breathing again. She started to scream then "Please, Jake, don't please, I'll do whatever, but don't hurt me!" I looked at her, and I was pissed, but I had to comfort her. I got a towel, and wrapped it around her, and I said, "Clare, it's me, Eli, don't worry, you're okay now." she opened her eyes, and started to cry "Eli, why'd you save me? I don't _deserve_ to be saved" I looked at her and said, "Because, you've saved me, I thought I'd return the favor. And you deserve everything so don't even go there.." She started to cry more. I said "Clare, where's your room, so I can get you warm clothes..since you're all wet." She looked at me, and said "They're outside room 404." I said okay, before I realized she said outside, and I said "Outside? Why are they outside room 404?" She was calming down, and said "Because I got kicked out of my room." I said "Okay, come with me, and we'll get your stuff, and I'll take you home, or something, okay? she looked at me oddly and asked "Home? How? You don't have…Morty, or car." I smirked and said "I got a new truck, Edwards, it's okay, alright? I'll take you home. 6 hours tops, okay?" she looked at me in awe, and said "You don't have to. It's late. And I'm sure you're tired." I laughed and said "If I were tired, I'd be in bed, and asleep. Don't worry I love to drive you know that. Now, let's get your stuff." We ran out of pool area, dripping wet. I realized we needed to get get dry. I went to the receptionist and requested for a a few big towels, blanket and pillows, she looked at me and said "I'm guessing it's for your girlfriend, and yourself?" I looked down and said "No, it's for my _friend_, and I, but yes, here's 20 dollars, if that covers my request." she smiled and said "It surely does." I then asked her if she could keep the pillow and blanket and she happily accepted. I saw Clare waiting for me by the elevator. She looked beautiful. I ran to her, and wrapped her in a towel, and then myself after. I told her to wait for me in the lobby, and that I'd be back in a bit to get her stuff. She nodded her head in agreement. The elevator came quick, but it stopped on the 3rd floor, my floor. I decided I'd text Adam about this later, and ran up the next flight of stairs. I ran up the hallway, and there it was, her suitcase waiting. I decided the elevator would delay too much, and ran down the stairs to go to Clare. As soon as I saw her I put her stuff down, and got her another pair of _full length_ pajamas, and a long sleeve, and her boots, and I gave them to her I said "Clare, you're going to change in the back of my truck, okay?" her face turned red and said "Okay, but stand outside, please? And don't look?" I crossed my heart and said "Don't worry, Clare. I promse." she smiled, and looked at me with doubt at the word "promise" .. I went to the receptionist to get the blanket, and I set it down with Clare's things. I swooped Clare into my arms, and I ran to my truck not wanting her to get sick due to the fact that she was still a little wet, even if she was in a towel. I basically threw her in there, but I knew she was okay with it. I ran back inside to get her suitcase, and the blanket and pillows. I put it in the front passenger's seat, I heard Clare scream "Elijah Goldsworthy, you promised!" I laughed and said "Clare, come on, I'm not looking! Don't be so self-centered!" I went to the other side, and turned on my tuck, as she continued to get dressed. As I waited I texted Adam I told him

"_Hey, bro, some stuff happened, and I have to take Clare home, I'll get into details later, and have fun with Tori, you guys are great, take it easy, see ya next week. Oh! And when you leave, can you get my shit and just bring it?"_

Then out of nowhere, a stumbling figure came out of the dark, it was Jake. He appeared to be drunk and he couldn't stand straight, so I think that's what gave it away, Clare then stuck her head out of the window and said "I'm ready to go, Eli.." she looked as surprised as I was when she saw Jake, and he yelled "Ah, so you're going to take that fucking tease of my sister home, or something? Good luck, she's just a bitter bitch, ya know? You might kill her though, slit her throat, and drink her blood, like in that emo fucking book you wrote, emo kid. Have fun dying, sister!" I was pissed, how did he know about that? I bet they had a great time talking about how crazy I am. Maybe he just did his research on me, who knows? But I got over it and said "Get the fuck out, before I slit your throat." He laughed and said "Whatever, bro. come at me!" and I did as he pleased, and I punched him right in the nose. It was the hardest I had punched anyone, and he went down fast. He was knocked out, I was sure. I didn't want to be rude, so I carried him in, and told the receptionist "Uh, this guy tried picking a fight with that girl I carried out, it's his sister, and so I decked him. I feel bad, but can you call the police? He's drunk to by the way." She looked alarmed. And she agreed and said "Have a safe trip home young man, you're a good boy.." I smirked and walked out. It was time to get to the bottom of this mystery.

**Clare's POV:**

God, Eli was always great to me. I looked out, and there he was, wet, and driving me home. He was half naked I gave him the blanket and said it was warm enough in his truck. But before we left, someone came out with a suitcase, and it appeared to be Adam, he tapped on the window of Eli's truck, and Eli was as surprised as I was, and said "Hey, I wanted to bring your stuff, I knew you'd need it. Oh, hey Clare.." I smiled and looked at Eli. Eli was blushing. It was cute. He said "What? Oh, just put in the back. Oh, and have fun with Tori, keep her safe, man" Adam did as Eli pleased, and said "See ya man, thanks, I will do that. Drive safe, bye Clare, whatever happened, sorry." And he ran back inside. Eli waited to leave, he took a deep breath and said "Clare, I called the police. I told the receptionist to, technically, but I told her everything, I mean, not everything, but you know. I didn't want to lie to you, and make you feel uncomfortable.." I was scared, but I said "Okay, thanks for looking out for me, Eli. You're amazing." He smiled and said "So, are you going to tell me what _really_ happened?" I took a deep breath and said "Okay, it was like this…" and Eli started his truck up, and started to drive

**Eli's POV:**

Man, I can't believe that dick tried to rape her. I can't believe her sister was raped. Why didn't she ever tell me this? Well, I can believe what Jake did, due to what happened last time, but shit. I felt so bad for Clare, and she had to live with that guy. She needed to tell her mom, she really does, but 3 more hours until we get home. She was fast asleep, but she looked like an angel, hell, she was an angel, a beautiful angel who deserved everything great. She was leaning back onto the seat, but then she started to lean on me. She even wrapped her arms around me, and I couldn't be more comfortable. We were finally home, outside her house, but I had to wake her up, I shook her and said "Edwards, you're home.." she batted her eyes, and said "wha…? Home? W-what time is it?" I told her it was 2.. she looked surprised and said "Eli, I can't wake up my mom and Jake's dad, I just can't, c-can we go to y-your h-house?" she looked scared as she said it, I smiled and said "Of course, blue eyes.." so I drove to my house, and called my dad since he was probably awake by now to go to work. It rang about 3 times, and he answered "Eli, what'd going on, bud?" I said "Bullfrog, some stuff happened with Clare, and she's in my truck, and I said I'd take her home, but she doesn't want her mom to worry this late at night, so, I told her she could stay here…" he waited to respond and said "Well, what are you waiting for? Bring her in son, of course she can stay!" I held her in my arms while she was asleep, half naked with a tank top, and my dad opened the door and said "Looks like you got busy?" I glared at him and said "Dad, it's a long story, so just hold off on those sex jokes, and let me inside, alright?" he laughed and said "Get her out of the cold, and put her in your bed then, okay?" I did as he pleased, and I got our stuff out of my truck. I stayed up until 5, and decided to sleep a bit. I never slept much now, since…my..dreams.

**Clare's POV:**

I woke up, and looked around, this wasn't my room. It was Eli's. I had realized I told him if I could stay at his house last night.. Where was Eli? I all of a sudden smelt something…really good, so I went down stairs, and there was CeCe, she noticed my presence, and yelled "Claire, sweetie! Nice to know you're awake, I made you some breakfast, baby girl." I smiled, and got red and managed to choke out a "Thanks..CeCe." I sat down, and she started to talk to me. "Clare, Eli told me everything on what happened, well, not everything, but he told me the end, he said there was more, but you had to tell me if I wanted to know, I don't have to know, but if you need help, you can tell me what happened, Eli's in the shower, and Bullfrog is at work.." I swallowed my shyness, and told her everything that happened last night. I finished my breakfast, and I decided to go change upstairs as soon as I heard the shower head shut off

**Eli's POV**:

I was staring at myself in the mirror for 5 minutes now. I left the shower on so they don't think I'm whacking off or something.. All I could think was that the girl I loved was in my house. I walked out of the bathroom, hoping Clare was still asleep so I could change in my room. I walked in, went to my drawer, and got my boxers I took off my towel, and turned around to close my door, and all I saw was those beautiful blue eyes, and I felt my face turn red hot, and I was frozen. _Ah fuck my life.._

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><p><strong>Hey guys! I know this chapter is a bit long! thanks for that 1 person who gave me a review, but i'd love to have more! still new at this, but I think I'm doing okay with this story so far! Tell me watcha think, i'd love to improve this story even more! love you guys! xoxoxox Sarah!<strong>_  
><em>


	5. I am still Painting flowers for you

**If I Mean A Lot to You.**

**An EClare Story **

**Okay, 5****th**** chapter, here it goes! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own degrassi, or anything on here.**

**Eli's POV:**

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. _Clare was just staring at me. Her face was equally red as mine I finally muttered out "Clare…can you…turn around so I can put my…boxers on? She nodded vigourosly, still red, and did so. I quickly put on my gray boxers, and I said "Um, okay, you can get whatever you need, and I'll put on some clothes…" she turned around, her face still red, and didn't say anything. I got red again and said "Sorry you had to see…_that_, Clare." She started laughing then. Why was she laughing? To be honest, I thought my _gift_ was quite impressive, to be truthful. She said "Um, I've got to get dressed.. can you please get out before stuff gets revealed again, _Elijah?"_ as she said Elijah, she was giggling, shit, this was awkward. I just ran down stairs, still red, and CeCe said "Hey sweetie, sausage and eggs?" I got even more red and said "Uh, sure mom!" and I just couldn't believe Clare saw my junk. And she _laughed _at my junk. How worse could this day get?

**Clare's POV:**

I still can't believe that happened. I've never seen…a _penis_ before. I mean, health class, yeah, but a real one? No. That was so awkward. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone, it was my mom calling.

"_Hello? Mom?"_

"_Clare! Sweetie! Where are you? Jake called, from the police station!"_

"_Mom, I'm at..E-Eli's, I'm going home now to tell you what happened..last night.."_

"_Eli's? CLARE DIANA EDWARDS! COME HOME NOW!"_

"_Mom, please, don't yell, I have a good reason.. I promise." _

"_You better, Clare. Come home, NOW."_

"_Fine. Love you, bye"_

the phone clicked.

"Eli, can you take me home? My mom called, and I have to go, thank you CeCe for the breakfast, and thank you for the talk, but I have to go home" CeCe nodded, and Eli grabbed my stuff, and told me to get in his car "c'mon Clare, let's go.." 5 minutes into the drive, Eli said "What happened?" I was crying then, and said "My mom called, Jake is in jail, and well, she wanted to know where I was. I told her, and she freaked. I'm surprised she cares, all she cares about is her new marriage." He looked at my sympathetically. I then saw wonder in his eyes, and he asked "Clare, one more thing..Jake told me he hoped I didn't slit your throat..did you show him that story?" he sounded upset. I mean, I was upset, but I swallowed my tears for this, ad I replied "No, of course not, but when he figured out we dated, I guess he did research. I never flaunted that story off to him, I promise. You do believe me, right?" I sounded a little pathetic as I said it. He nodded his head, and smiled at me. 5 minutes in the drive, all of a sudden I was home I stopped all of crying and asked "Eli, can you come with me, and help explain..last night, please?" he said "Of course, blue eyes.." and came inside.

**Eli's POV:**

I don't know why I was here, I mean it was just Clare and her mom arguing. Clare's mom wouldn't even hear her out, and Clare was already crying. I decided to step in and say everything Clare needed to say and I said "Will you guys please stop already?" the both just looked at me, confused. Clare's mom still looked angry. I continued by saying "Clare, someone has to tell the whole story, and I will, and I started "and it went a little like this.." I started the story starting with 3 months ago, when their intimate time before school started up, after that, I explained everything that has happened up until last night. Clare and her mother were crying by then. Crying so hard. Helen looked at me and said "Oh my god.." and looked at Clare and asked "Honey, is this true? Have I been so involved with my new marriage to not notice this was going on? Clare..Oh my god, sweetie." The door suddenly opened up, and there he was, Jake, and behind him was Jake's father. I just realized shit was about to do down.

**Clare's POV:**

Well, the truth is out. My mother was crying. My ex boyfriend is in the room, and so is my other ex boyfriend, and his dad, who is also my mother's new husband. This is complete and utter…. _bullshit_. My mom got up and said "Clare, go to Eli's and stay there until I call you to come home. Take some clothes, because who knows when this fight will be over, Jake, just go somewhere that's not here. Your father and I have to sort this out. And Eli, thank you so much for taking care of my daughter. You're a good young man, and please, don't let my_ son_ anywhere near Clare. Okay, now all of you _out._" And we did so. Eli and I ran to his truck, and drove away, without letting Jake let in a word on our presence, or on what happened. I was just happy to be with someone safe. Eli has always been…safe.

******2 weeks later******

I went downstairs to enjoy CeCe's breakfast, and my phone rang, I politely dismissed myself and it was my mom

"_Clare, they're staying, okay? Well, Jake isn't. Jake is going to live with K.C and his mother since they have extra room. We're not going to press charges, I mean, he is my husband, and he is my stepson, and I'm sorry. Come home, school starts tomorrow. See you in a bit?"_

I couldn't speak. Say anything. This was bullshit!

"_Fine. Bye."_

**-Click- **

I turned my phone off.

I went downstairs and said "Eli, take me home, please? My mom called. And thank you CeCe for letting me live with you guys for a week, it means so much to me." CeCe nodded, and Eli got my stuff and said "C'mon, I have your stuff." I smiled, and went to his truck, in tears.

**Eli's POV:**

I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with her? She has been happy these past two weeks living with us. So, I asked her "Clare, what happened?" She broke down into tears telling me everything her mom had told her. I was pissed and said "Clare! She's your mom, how could she do that to you, your life is in danger with that guy running around?" she looked at me hopelessly as if she knew, which I knew she knew. and she cried even more. Then before I knew it, she was home. She got out of the truck and said "I'll see you, Eli. Thank you for everything. I'll see you tomorrow." Before I could say anything, she shut the door. I drove home, and I couldn't help but think that I was a good friend to her these past two weeks.. I mean, I don't know. I guess it was whatever. And then all of a sudden I looked at the clock, and it was 9:50. Then out of nowhere my phone rang I looked and it read **Clarebear** I quickly answered

"_Hello? Clare?"_

"_Hey, Eli.."_ She sounded like she was crying still..

"_How's..home?"_

"_Horrible"_

"_I'm sorry to hear that, Clare.."_

"_I'm sorry that all this…nonsense is going on."_

"_I'm sorry it is too, Clare. I really am. If there's anyway to help, I will."_

"_Can I sit with you, Adam, and Tori for the remainder of the year? I pushed everyone away.. and everyone hates me."_

"_Of course, and everyone? No, I'm sure no one hates you. How can someone hate an angel?"_

"_I have no best friend, no boyfriend, and no mother."_

"_Clare, you can make up with Alli anytime you want, and who cares? You don't need that jackass, excuse my language, I know you hate cursing, and your mom? Tell her what you feel about this."_

"_Eli, thank you. So much. I'm going to try to talk to Alli, but I still want to sit with you guys, okay? if you don't mind? And I'll try and talk to my mom. I'm sleepy, and it's already 10. Thanks again, goodnight, and sweet dreams." _

"_Goodnight, and sweet dreams, blue eyes."_

I then heard the phone click. I laughed to myself, and thought 'sweet dreams my ass.' My dreams haven't been sweet since.._that_ night I crashed morty.

**Clare's POV:**

Well, time to try and talk to Alli. There she is. "Hey, Alli, can I talk to you?" she looked at me in surprise and said "Of course, Clare!" and the first thing I said was "I'm sorry I blamed you, I'm sorry for everything. Jake means nothing, and I should have listening to what you had to say. Your problems aren't pedestrian, and I miss you, and will you forgive me so I can stop babbling, and I know what happened, and I'm sorry, Dave is a loser, and can I stop, and can we hug?" "Oh my gosh, Clare!" and then she embraced me with a long hug. I'm really glad I got my best friend back. Alli then said "Me? You? Lunch?" I said "I'd love to, but I'm going to eat lunch with Eli, Adam, and Tori.." she sighed and said "I never thought I'd say this, but I will too, okay? We need to catch up since Jake's cabin." I smiled, and headed to English to tell Eli my great news about getting my best friend back. I walked in, and there he was! "Eli!" he turned around, and smirked at me.

**Eli's POV:**

"Now, how can I help you, Edwards?" She giggled, and said "I took your advice with Alli, you know? And well, we made up!" I smiled and said "Congrats! You got your friend back!" She smiled back and said "It's all thanks to you! Oh, and can she sit with us at lunch, she wants to catch up…and I said yes?" I kind of made a face, sighed and sad "Of course she can, it's no worry. Plus, Tori and her are friends! Well, kind of. Okay, not really, but they've talked!" And she… said "Get up, Goldsworthy!" I did so, looking at her confusingly, and said "What for, Edwards?" and she..she hugged me. Hugged me so tight, and it was great… then Mrs. Dawes came and said "Clare, Eli, it's nice to know you two have rekindled your friendship, now sit down" I looked at Clare and she giggled, and I smirked and looked ahead. This was going to be a _great_ semester.

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><p><strong>hey guys! here's chapter 5! I'm just going to upload everyday, since i have a lot of free time. Um, I think it may be a really long story with the way things are going, and the way im going to let the characters play out. please keep on reading, i love that someone actually likes this story i've come up with. EClare forever, right? lol. but seriously. i have never shipped someone as much as this. Um, keep on reviewing! thanks for reading so far! xoxoxox - Sarah!<strong>


	6. Make you Feel my Love

**If I Mean A Lot to You.**

**An EClare Story **

**Okay, 6****th**** chapter, here it goes! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, or anything on here.**

**Eli's POV:**

Here I was, talking to Dr. Nash about how great I've been. I missed her, since she was out for Christmas break, so my appointment had to be after Christmas break, ya know? Well, the Friday after Christmas break. I walked into her office, as confident as ever and she said "Someone seems happy! Good Christmas break?" I smirked, and spilt my guts out to her. She seemed so surprised. I was surprised too. This was the first time I talked about Clare openly, and as a happy guy.

**Dr. Nash's POV:**

Here I was, listening to this Eli's story. And this is the first time he opened up about Clare, it's been almost a year, and not one word, and now he tells me everything I needed to know about Clare. I even realized it was Clare Edwards, Darcy Edward's sister. I'm thinking that I don't need Eli to do this anymore, now that he's opened up about everything. I think I'll give him once a month with me from now on and as soon as he finished, I said "Eli, I'm so proud of you! I'm so proud and happy that you got everything out, I'm cutting our meetings to once a month! And one more thing, I know you love reading, and I don't know if you love kids, but I would want to know if you would like to meet with some twins and an older brother who went through a tragedy, kind of like you did, and you would like to meet with them like once a week on weekends?" He smirked again and said "Of course, Doctor Nash, like a big brother's thing?" "Well, kind of, not exactly, but yes. There are 3, two twins, a boy and a girl who are 6, and an older brother who is 10. Their father got killed, well, murdered, and their mother is having a hard time dealing still, and they would love a…older guy type figure in their life.."

**Eli's POV:**

I couldn't believe Dr. Nash was asking me to do this. It's so…great that she could trust me with hanging out with 3 kids every week, but me being an only child, I had to say "I'm an only child you know, I don't know how to deal with kids and their crying…and having a fit, and.. stuff." She laughed and said "Eli, honey, they're past their crying and _stuff, _okay? I know you're an only child, but I'm sure you could handle it, and you can ask Clare to join you if you'd like? I just wanted you guys to meet since you and the children have has a horrible tragedy." I smiled and said "I understand, and That sounds great!" she then asked me "Okay, you still take your medication, right?" I looked at her questionably, and said "Of course, why?" she looked at me, smiling, and said "Just wondering. And remember, don't push Clare, okay? It seems like she's still going through a rough time, and I just want you two to be friends. It seems like you're really happy with this." I understood what she was implying, and took the advice happily and said, "Thanks for looking out for me, Dr. Nash, now, when can I meet the family?" She smiled and said, "they're right outside, they're my next appointment, now, you can talk to their kids, and warm up to them, while I talk to their mother about you and other things, okay?" I smiled, and agreed, and walked out, and I saw them, they were the cutest kids I've laid my eyes on. The girl was a curly haired dirty blonde with blue eyes, and the boys both had straight long black hair and blue eyes. The girl looked like her mother, and the boys, well, I have no idea who they looked like, but they were all cute. I felt like if Clare and I had kids, they'd look like them. I smiled and said "Hey kids, I'm Eli, I'll be your big brother for a while." They looked at me, and looked at each other, and they were speechless. Maybe them warming up to me would be an issue…

**Clare's POV:**

Gosh, I wish Eli's sessions wouldn't take so long I needed to call him. I looked at my phone, and looked at my call log to check when I called him **6:40** Gosh. It's 9:50 now..and **–phone rings-** it read **Eli** Yes!

"_Hello?"_

"_Hey, you called?"_

"_Yeah, I did.. How was your session?"_

"_It was pretty great. I opened up to her…about you."_

"_Really? That's…good? Right?"_

"_Yeah, I haven't opened up about you since I got into therapy.."_

"…_Really? But..why?"_

"_Why would I want to talk about the only girl who made my life happy, and how I ruined it?"_

"_well, why now?"_

"_Because, ClareBear, I finally got you back in my life, as a friend, and I'm extremely happy."_

"_That's sweet Eli.. Oh I have to tell you, I talked to my mom."_

"_Really? What'd she say?"_

"_Nothing too great. She just said she'll take my opinion into consideration."_

"_That's ridiculous, sorry Clare. I have something to tell you too!"_

"_Yeah, I know, it's okay, Eli, just as long as he can't come near me and really? What's that?"_

"_Well, it's a surprise, meet me tomorrow, and the park, at the bench we filmed Romeo and Juliet, at noon, deal?"_

I giggled and said

"_Alright, deal!"_

"_Well, goodnight, Edwards.."_

"_Goodnight, Goldsworthy!"_

"_Bye!"_

"_Buh-bye"_

_**-click-**_

Well, tomorrow is going to be interesting. I missed him, I missed him that way, I wonder what he has surprised. Gosh, I'm so..excited.

**Eli's POV:**

"Okay, guys, I'm going to introduce you to Clare. She's my friend. She's going to join us today, okay?" The girl twin, Taylor said sadly "Is she your girlfriend?" I laughed and said "No, sweetie, she isn't." she looked hopeful and said "Oh, okay…good." Tyler, her twin brother said "Don't be nosy, sister, that's rude!" their older brother, Timothy said "Guys, enough, leave Eli alone. He's-" his statement stopped, and as I looked to see what made him stop talking, I saw that it was Clare who made that 10 year old boy stop mid-sentence. What Timothy didn't know was that she did the same to me. A lot. God, she looked beautiful. That blue sweater brought out her eyes. Her hair looked extra curly, and I smiled and said "I see you are taking a liking to my friend Clare, Timothy!" He turned cherry red. And she was already by us, looking surprised at who I was with. I looked up and said "Hey, _Edwards_, how are you?" she smiled and said "Okay, _Goldsworthy,_ who are these cuties?" pinching Tyler's cheek. Taylor jumped in and said "I'm Taylor! And these are my brother's! Eli's our _big _brother now too!" I laughed at Taylor's comment and said "What Taylor means is that I'm kind of like a big brother. I'm in a program like big brother's ya know? And well, these kids got stuck with me. They secretly hate me.." Taylor busted out with a "No! Eli! I love you!" Clare, Tyler, Timothy and I busted out into laughter, then Taylor started to sob. I picked her up, and said "Oh sweetie, it's okay! I love you too, darling." And I kissed her cheek. She giggled and turned 20 shades of red. With that, we continued on with our picnic I planned for us. I couldn't help but notice, but Clare couldn't keep her eyes off of me.

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><p><strong>hey guys! like i said before, i have a LOT of free time right now, so im going to be writing and uploading like 2 times a day until it gets done. keep doing what you're doing too! i like that people actually are interested in this story. keep reviewing! xoxoxox- Sarah (:<strong>


	7. Guts

**If I Mean A Lot to You.**

**An EClare Story **

**Okay, 7****th**** chapter, here it goes! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, or anything on here.**

**Clare's POV:**

Why didn't I know Eli was so good with kids? It was the cutest thing in the world! Taylor was so sweet, but I know she didn't like me much, she thought I was Eli's girlfriend. Which I kind of wish I was.

I missed him, and as I watched him take care of these kids, I fell harder and harder. I turned and there he was.. Jake. Why was he here? _Fuck._ My day is ruined. I could help but start crying.

**Eli's POV:**

This turned out to be such a great day so far, our picnic, the kids, and Clare being here topped it all off. We were all having fun. Especially me. All of a sudden, I hear muffled crying. I looked and it was Clare. She was crying.. Why though? I shook her and said "Clare, what's going on? What happened?"

She looked and pointed her finger I looked, and there he was. Jake. Why was he here? Was he here to torture Clare? I wasn't going to let that happen. She doesn't deserve that. And here he comes. _Shit._

"Clare, just stay here with the kids, and I'll bring the truck, alright?" she nodded her head, and hid the tears from the kids. I ran to my truck. And I pulled it around.

I got out, about to run back to Clare and the kids, but before I could, Jake was blocking me. Jake and K.C. I swallowed up the courage to say "Excuse me guys, but I need to go get the kids I'm helping out." Jake laughed and said "They let a nutcase like you around kids? Well, hell. I'm surprised you didn't slit their throat and drink their blood!" I pushed them out of the way, and I said "Whatever, let me through." But before I could, I felt a hard fist against my jaw, and I heard them them laughing. I didn't care, I got back up, and said "Alright guys, anything else? There's some cops over there." I pointed, and without hesitation, they ran. Ididots. I mean, I knew it'd work, Jake couldn't get in trouble again. At least I didn't fight back, right?

I ran back to Clare, and she looked concerned. She said "Eli, your face.. your jaw. It's bruised. It looks bad." I laughed, it had only been 2 minutes, and I already got a bruise… I replied and said "Yeah, Jake punched me. It's okay, I didn't fight back." I flashed her my famous smirk, and said "Don't girls like guys who fight?" Clare glared at me then. I laughed it off, and then I heard cries. Taylor was crying, but she wiped her tears, and kicked me. I said "Ow, Tay! You want to give me a bruise on my shin?" she giggled and said "no, sorry Eli… " she hugged me, well, she tried, she wrapped herself around the side of my body and said "It's getting late, let's go, okay?" I agreed and said "Yeah, it is!" I mean, it was 8 o'clock I picked her up, and carried her to the car, Clare grabbed Tyler and carried him and Timothy decided to walk his own since he _was_ 10.

As soon as I got to their house, it was 8:30, and Taylor and Tyler were asleep. I carried Taylor into the house, and Timothy walked next to me. I gave Taylor to their mother, and she put her in bed, Timothy stayed while I went to get Tyler, and their mother took him upstairs to bed too. Timothy stayed and said "Thanks for everything Eli, you're the best. By the way, you can call me Tim. I'll see you and _Edwards_ next week. Bye." And he hugged me. I said thanks to their mom, and left.

**Clare's POV:**

God, when did Eli become good with everything? He totally did a 360 on his life. He handled the Jake situation so well too. It was amazing. He was pretty amazing. I touched his face then and said "Well, you can sure take a hit.." He laughed and said "Of course. I have always been able to, Edwards!" his eyes twinkled, and he flashed me his cute smirk.

And all of a sudden, I was home, but my mom and her husband weren't, I realized they were going to be gone all weekend. Maybe he Eli could hang out with me. I missed him. So I decided to ask him inside, he looked unsure but he agreed. I got him some ice for his face, and I told him to go upstairs to my room, and I'd meet him up there.

**Eli's POV:**

I've never been into Clare's bedroom. Her room was so like her too. It was strange me being in here. I couldn't help but wanting to kiss her, but I didn't want to scare her away, not again. My thoughts were interrupted as I saw Clare come in with a pack of ice. My face didn't hurt as bad it looked, but I took it. She said "So, how's your face?" I laughed and said "Well, how does it look to you, _Edwards_?" she giggled her cutest fucking giggle, and said "Cute as always, just with a big bruise. That jerk shouldn't have hit your best feature." I said"Ouch, Edwards, that hurt. Not my eyes? My personality? My _lips?_" She smiled and said "Oh, well, those are perks too.." and she winked at me. I couldn't help but think if she was flirting. I mean, I sure as hell was. We then started talking, for what seemed like forever, and I looked at my phone, and CeCe was calling _shit. It was 11 o'clock_ I answered and said

"_hey mum, sorry, I was at Clare's I'll head home right now! Okay?"_

"_Clare's? tell her I said hi! Did the kids get home safe?"_

"_Alright mum, I will when I leave, and yeah, of course. I'll leave in a bit, alright? Love you mum. Bye."_

And I hung up. I looked at Clare and said "Hey, I've got to go, sorry ClareBear, see you Monday?" she pouted her little pout that drove me crazy and said "oh, okay. I'll walk you out?" I agreed and she did just that but before I left she said "I want to make it feel better" and before I knew she kissed my bruised jaw and closed the door. My jaw felt a warm tingling sensation the whole way home. I wasn't going to push, so I was going to brush it off. That kiss…on my jaw was..amazing. I got into my car, and all I could think about was Clare as I drove home.

When I finally got home, CeCe was still awake and was alarmed at my bruise, but I told her everything and she just left it alone. I undressed leaving my boxers and a t-shirt on. I couldn't help but think if this is what was in store for myself, I could wait for the months to come.

******5 months later******

**Clare's POV:**

I think it's weird how Eli and I take time talking and not talking to each other, but this was the longest without a misconnection, and not talking, and us being in some sort of ridiculous fight. I was glad everything was going great. I mean, we'd take the kids out every Saturday, Taylor would hate if Eli and I ever held hands or kissed, and Tyler and Tim would get crushed. I mean, I couldn't believe they had crushes on us.

Eli would sometimes go to church with me on Sundays, and we had to do assignments for English, which we took up our time doing the projects. He never once pushed me to kiss him, or do anything, so we've just been friends, I guess It was pretty great, and now Eli was going to graduate tomorrow, and I don't want him to go. I don't want him to go at all. That boy is going to be the death of me. I need him back with me. I think I am ready to go back with him. What if waiting made him not want me? I wish I knew. These were all my thoughts as I rode my bike to school, and I saw him. He was looking for me, it seemed. He ran up to me and said "I got into U of T! I even got the Degrassi scholarship Holly J got last year! Isn't that exciting? Clare, I'm so happy!" I was happy for him. and I was happy that U of T wasn't too far. I hugged him and we looked at each other, and there was that spark. You know that spark right? Well, it was there and…

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><p><strong>yes, i ended that way. kjfklasjdfaklsdf. So, how are you guys liking it so far? :D um, i'll upload again soon, yada yada yada, um.. yeah! Thanks for reading this guys, it means so much. xoxox - Sarah (:<strong>


	8. Come Close

**If I Mean A Lot to You.**

**An EClare Story **

**Okay, 8****th**** chapter, here it goes! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, or anything on here.**

**Eli's POV**:

God, I loved Clare's hugs, and this one was especially long. When we released from the hug, we stared at each other for a bit, and then there was that spark before that spontaneous kiss, you know what I mean, right? Well, she kissed me, and with so much force. I kissed back with great intensity, and the same force, and it felt like forever had passed before I broke the kiss off. I looked at her and said "_Well, I've got to go to history, Edwards. See you in English."_ She looked at me as if she were baffled, and wordless. And that's how I wanted it. Just like our first kiss. It was priceless, really. I couldn't help but laugh to myself at her confused face. I walked into history, and there was Jake, the jackass. He spit on my shoes and I couldn't help but laugh. He couldn't do a damn thing to ruin this day for me. Nothing was going to stop me being happy.

**Clare's POV:**

All I could think about was Eli, and how I kissed him, how we kissed like that all he could say was_ "Well, I've got to go to history, Edwards. See you in English, Edwards." _Seriously? Did that kiss have no meaning whatsoever? I thought about it up until English, I just had to ask Eli what was going on. There he was, walking in with that cute smirk on his face. He looked so smug. Then I asked him as he sat down "Elijah Goldsworthy, what the _heck_ are you up to?" He laughed and said "Edwards_ you_ kissed_ me._" I was baffled. I know I kissed him, but he kissed back twice as hard. I said "Yeah, but you kissed back. And you just made a weird remark and left. I don't know what you're up to, but..we need to talk, Eli. Today, lunch time, please?" he turned around and said_ "Of course, _it's a _date Edwards."_ I couldn't help but giggle, but it didn't forgive how he just left after our kiss. I was really anticipating lunch. What would happen? I wanted us to start dating again, but I wonder if it'd happen due to the fact he's going to be in U of T, and I'll be here miserable at Degrassi. Gosh, just when everything was going just great, I just _had _to kiss him.

**Eli's POV**:

I decided to head to lunch a little late, to keep Clare at the edge of her seat, if you know what I mean. She was a little on edge the whole day from what Adam told me when he saw her. I thought it was a good thing. I was happy, because she seemed to be the one to want me, not just me wanting her. As I walked in the cafeteria, there she was, looking down at an empty plate, talking to herself. I couldn't help but laugh. I went a little closer to where she was and said "Hey, are we going to have this date or what?" she looked up and turned 10 shades of red. Without knowing what to say, just nodded. I grabbed her hand, and pulled her out of that lunchroom. Who was the one to stare? Jake was, and I was fucking glad that he was pissed about it. I just hoped he'd take that anger out on me, and not Clare. She doesn't deserve anything but the best, which isn't me either, I just now realized. What was I doing? I don't think she ever loved me then, why in the fuck would she love me now? Why am I doing this? Why, why, why?

**Clare's POV:**

Here we were, sitting outside Degrassi, in pure silence. Eli looked like he was scared, or nervous, I can't tell which, but he looked concerned. I finally broke the silence and said "Okay, Eli, we were here to talk. So, let's talk." He looked up and said "Edwards, you're the one who said we needed to talk, so talk." His voice was mixed with a little anger, which upset me, but I swallowed up some courage, went on and said, "Okay, these past few months, I started to fall for you, and I know you've been the same. And that kiss this morning, it wasn't just a normal kiss. I need you back in my life. I still love you, and I've always loved you. And I'm sorry I went out with Jake before you got off your crutches, and before you got better, okay? I was vulnerable. And I'm sorry. And I need you, and can you shut me up before I keep-" and then I felt a strong pair of lips touch mine. Eli was kissing me. _he_ kissed _me_, and I was happy with this. He finally broke the kiss which what seemed like forever, and said "Are you happy now, Clare? I got you to shut up." and he smirked at me. I couldn't help but turn red. I felt it. I replied with "Yeah, I am. But I won't be happy until you answer me this, well, w-will y-you be..my b-boyfriend..a-again?"

**Eli's POV:**

Those words hit me harder than Jake did to my jaw. Did she really just ask me that? I looked at her, and I was already crying. Clare was the only person I'd cry in front of. What Clare doesn't know is that she keeps me scared. What if she'd leave me again? Before I went on, I just kissed her again. I kissed her so passionately, and so lovingly. I broke it then, and said "Of course, blue eyes. That's an offer I'd_ never _ refuse." She was smiling. I was smiling. Fuck, I was happy. Fuck my doubting that happened earlier. I was really happy. And I couldn't wait to tell Dr. Nash, my parents, and everyone else.

******Later that night******

**Dr. Nash's POV:**

I was listening to this boy, about to go to college, tell me everything about this girl, Clare Edwards. I knew of Clare. Her sister Darcy was in Degrassi when I was. I never associated with her, but I knew of her existence. He seemed so happy with this, the fact that they're dating again. I just wanted him to be careful. I didn't want him to be more damaged. I mean, the way things were going with him, he was holding up, he had improved so fast. It's been about a year since I've been with him, and I thought I'd send him off with a _present._ As soon as Eli stopped talking I said "Oh, Eli, you've improved so much. I mean, you're going to U of T to major in creative writing, you've helped so much with Ms. Evan's children, they love you so much, and they seem to love Clare as well. Keep doing what you're doing Eli, you're doing so many great things! I wanted to help you though, I have a job preposition for you that you can do at home, or when you go work and Barnes and Noble again for the summer, but I wanted to know if you wanted to write letters for people. Like.. for Organizations we're trying to pair up with? I'd just send you an email every day or so, and you can finish them by the end of the summer. How does that sound? It pays just as much as your Barnes and Noble job too." He looked so delighted and said "I'd love to help. I'd love to improve my writing. I'd just love to help with anything that involves your firm. Thank you so much for this. You won't regret a thing!" he left the happiest he's ever been, and I was glad. Oddly enough, I wanted to be a writer, technically a journalist like his girlfriend, Clare. If she'd need anything, I'd be glad to help her too. I'd be glad to help anyone, really.

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><p><strong>Hey guys! sorry i haven't uploaded in a while, i needed to catch up on some reading and whatnot. stupid excuse, but still. aklsdjfklsajf. um. here's the 8th chapter, and yeah! Reviews please, and thank you? love you guys! xoxox - sarah (:<strong>


	9. i'm breaking down

**If I Mean A Lot to You.**

**An EClare Story **

**Okay, 9****th**** chapter, here it goes! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, or anything on here.**

**Clare's POV:**

Graduation day, I was going to watch the boy I love get a diploma, and get a scholarship. This was going to be a great day. I just knew it. I walked into my room, and looked in my mirror, and I thought my baby blue dress looked amazing with my eyes, and I knew how Eli loved those, I put on a white cardigan, and my _family_ and I left to the graduation. I had just realized Jake was graduating too. Great. We drove over there, and there was Eli, CeCe, Bullfrog, Adam, and Tori. They seemed to be waiting for me. I skipped over there, and the first thing that came out of Eli's mouth was the words "My god Clare, you look gorgeous." I heard Bullfrog scoff, he didn't seem to like me now-a-days since what happened with us, but I saw CeCe elbow him, and he apologized. I said "Thank you,_ Elijah_, you look handsome as well." He smirked, and he kissed me. It was an amazing thing. Then CeCe told us to take a picture together, just Eli and I. We did just so. CeCe took about 4 pictures before she said it was perfect, but they all were, honestly. Eli, Adam, Tori and I took a gang picture too. Tori and I weren't too close, but I mean, we talked. I kind of think she didn't like me, but it wasn't my problem. My phone buzzed all of a sudden it was from **Alli**. It read:

"_Clare, we need 2 talk ASAP. I mean NOW. meet me in front of Degrassi. Concerning u and eli."_

Great, just what I wanted, someone to tell me what to do. I dismissed myself, and they gladly let me go, and I met Alli as she pleased. The first thing she said was, "Clare, why in the world would you date him again? All he did was manipulate you, and scare you, yeah he was sweet, but he's crazy!" I was angry, no, I was pissed. I started to yell. Denying everything. I was crying then. "He is not! Alli, he changed. He's changed, he's good! He-" she interrupted me and said "No, he's scary, just like he's always been. I couldn't even.. I heard footsteps then, who could be outside, right now? Everyone should have been inside. The ceremony was about to start.

**Eli's POV:**

I couldn't believe it. Clare was _still_ scared of me? I thought this time was gong to be different. I thought she truly meant she loved me. I guess this was the only way she wouldn't be lonely. I was enflamed with anger and yelled at her "Clare, I scare you, okay? So watch your damned _brother_ graduate, and get back with him! I thought you meant you loved me, I thought you meant everything you said! I was _happy!_ But no, everything is fucked up. I'm fucked up. I'll never be well enough for you. I can never cover up the bad with all the good things I've done. I'll never get you without you still being scared. Without you feeling suffocated. And I'm leaving this god-damned town, and I'm not coming back. I love you, Clare Diana Edwards, but you fucking know how to drive me insane. I know how to drive you insane. We're like fucking fire and gasoline. We just blow up on each other. We just push each other to the fucking edge. I'm sorry I suffocate you, and Alli, thank you for making her realize she didn't really love me. _Thank you, so fucking much. _I'm sorry that I can't have your approval of dating Clare, but this won't happen again, since Clare is too scared of me. And Clare, I love you. I just don't think we can talk ever again, and that'd be for the best for the both of us. Especially you." Before she could reply, before a single tear could drop form her pretty little eyes, I ran off. I ran off to graduate. I ran away because this is what was best. I was so close to breaking down, but I held them back just for this moment, no for this day. How could I get over this? She was still scared of me. I guess my dreams have been right all along, but this time, I left instead. I pushed _her away_. Someone I wanted for so long, I pushed her away.

I went to sit with the graduating class, and my parents knew something was up. I just smiled. They were announcing named, and then I heard mine all of a sudden, they said how I got the scholarship this year, and how I'd be going to U of T to major in writing. I stood up there so my parents could take a picture, and then I sat back down. I heard Jake's name. Apparently he got into some college for baseball, or some shit like that. I didn't care, as long as he was far away from Clare. I didn't want him to randomly appear and just…_ruin her innocence._ I couldn't let that happen to her. All of a sudden graduation was over.

My Degrassi years were over. I was ready to get out. I was ready to try and move on, even if I died trying.

**Clare's POV:**

I couldn't stop crying. When I heard Eli's name get called, I looked at him, he smiled, and went on. How was he okay with this? I was completely heart broken. Why wouldn't he listen to me at all? He wouldn't let me express my side of he story. He interrupted and exploded before I was able to defend him, and he wouldn't stop so I could defend myself.. and he just left. He ran off before I could say anything.

How dare he accuse me that I never loved him. I always loved him. Even when I was with Jake. I loved him _so_ much. I saw his family leave graduation, and I had to go after them.

**CeCe's POV:**

As soon as we got home, Eli started to cry. My baby boy started to cry. Was it because it was he was leaving Clare? Wait, Clare wasn't here. My son was crying, and I had to know why. Eli was going up to his room, but before he headed up the stairs I yelled "Boys! We're having a talk! Come to the kitchen. Right now!" and they did so. I took my husband's hand, and said "Eli, we can't just let you off crying to you room, what's wrong?" he wiped away his own tears and sighed, then he said "Um.. Clare." I sighed too. I said "Baby boy, what happened?" I looked at him with so much sympathy, and he broke down, and went on with his story, going into detail like it was his sessions with Dr. Nash. His story ended with "And I just don't know what to do with her anymore.." and then the door rang. Bullfrog went to answer it. Of course, it was Clare. Bullfrog said it wasn't a good time for Eli, and it were better if she left. She refused to move. Eli was still crying. Bullfrog and Clare went out it outside, and I told Eli "Honey, what if you were wrong? What if you went off on her for nothing? What if you stepped in before the conversation was over? I raised you to hear the girl's side of the story too. You've always been bad at that. Go talk to her. Now." He looked at me, almost angry, but thankfully, and said, "Okay, mum." And I heard him say "Bullfrog, please, let me talk to her." Clare was crying. I felt so horrible for those two, having a love like that. It reminded me of how Bullfrog and I had so many heartaches, but so much love along with it. Their love was so much…profound though. Even though Bullfrog didn't like Clare all that much for Eli, he didn't see the similarities in their relationships with ours, but I sure did.

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><p><strong>hey guys! I know it's been SOOO long, but I have school, ya know? : I've been super busy, and i've neglected this story, but I WILL finish it, promise. (: thanks for whoever is still reading. reviews please? (: you guys are the best. xoxo - Sarah. (:**


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